I started working on my book again. Although my book will be fucking hilarious, its currently sad for me. Not that i had any sort of connection with any of those first date freaks, but it has me thinking. Is my picker off? Do I intentionally pick these people because I want to be alone? i know that's not the case. Don't get me wrong, its not that I'm unhappy. I'm actually truly happy with myself more than i have ever been in my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. So now when my life is better & I love myself, every part of myself.. why am I meeting and putting myself through all of these rejects?
I haven't been in an official relationship since "P" back in Nov 2009. A good amount of my early single years i kept to myself to lose weight, to love myself. To live.. to learn and to love... IRENE. I had bad date after bad date. Asshole after asshole.
i can honestly say that I have gotten much better at picking people i actually even choose to go on dates with. I haven't had one crazy first (and only) date since Dec 2011 :knock on wood:.
It's gotten so good that I have only had two dates with two new people this year. (That's because i pick up on the little signs of crazy & end it. Now If i could only figure out the asshole radar) The first one, back in January.. we had about 3 dates. On the day of the 4th date he broke plans because his grandmother died. Found out from Facebook that he lied and was actually fucking a 17 year old. WINNER! The other was this past September, he was the most boring human being i have ever encountered in my life.i literally fell asleep during dinner. Yep... I fell the fuck asleep in the middle of the quiet and dark restaurant. (Wait... shouldn't I add that to my first date book? i mean.. i did fall asleep because he talked about how exciting it was that he bought new laces for his sneakers. Zzzzzzzzzzz)
I re-dated someone this year as well. "D" and I dated summer 2011, all the way up until my pussy ass hurricane Irene. Then suddenly.. he went missing. Turned out he was a bit depressed & when that happens he pushes people away. Promised he would never do it again, told me that i was the one person he shouldn't have pushed away. Claimed that we have something real and he didn't want to lose me, that he missed my smile.. my laugh etc. We started back up again in March 2012. By the end of the month.. again he went missing.
He's tried since then. I don't reply to him. I wont even dignify him with a fuck off. What did i learn with "D"?
Fuck me over once.. shame on you. Fuck me over twice.. shame on me!
No comments:
Post a Comment